St. Meinrad Seminary and School of Theology
11:30 PM - Surrender

Br. Antony Maria Minardi, OSB

As I stand at the precipice,
Ready to jump,
I gaze into the deep blue waters,
Scared as a pup.

The wide open sky before me,
Stretches out forever,
Its blue reaches the ocean’s,
Uniting the flight of the feather.

I gaze back into the unknown,
Scared to take the leap;
All the blacks and the blues,
All the violets of violence keep!

Yet You remind me,
By looking outside,
That it is me You surround,
And in me abide.

My terror recedes,
But it is still there,
The dark red of the sky,
Screaming of tarring and feather.

I look back to the leap:
Is it possible to jump?
What will happen in the fall?
Will I ever come up?

The fear resides there ever,
In the depths of my soul,
The memories of a feather,
Keep me from my goal.

I try to rise to You,
Of my own volition,
Yet such feats are not possible,
Not in my condition.

I need You, my Love,
Without You I die,
Yet when I gaze above,
And look upon the sky,
I see the power of Your Love,
Reflected in the stars,
Yet also I see above,
The tears that streak on by.

What am I to do?
Go searching after Halley’s Comet?
Such is a fool’s errand:
No one would be sent upon it!

Yet as I look into the depths,
Gaze beneath the most turbulent wave,
I immediately wonder:
Will I swim to life or the grave?

Diving from such a height,
The height of my brow,
What will such accomplish?
Will I even get down?

But I look up in wonder,
And see You standing there,
Such beauty, such candor,
Is it rude to stand and stare?

What else can I do,
Before the glory of Your Face?
Where else can I go to find You,
Except in that deep, dark place?

The depths of the ocean,
Reflect the depths of Your Love,
Yet when it’s in motion,
Oh what fear reigns above!

Oh what horror of horrors,
Lie in wait for me below!
There is stillness there, yes,
But also the fiend of Jack Sparrow,

The Kraken reigns in the deep,
Many a soul he dost keep,
Never to let them away,
Never to see the bright rays of day.
Such terror he yields,
Bashing our shields,
What shall we do?
If we dive, we are stew…..

And yet I look up,
Seeing Your Love,
It truly fills my cup,
Never to want anymore.

But then I look down,
See my own frown,
What is it with down,
That scares me so much?

The beautiful reeds,
All sway in the breeze,
The yellows and greens,
Which will hide at the touch.

Careful we must,
Gaining our trust,
Constantly prodding,
Yet not pushing away.

The movies he saw,
The blogs that he read,
Have filled him with dread,
And now brought him to Us.
We have always been here,
Always holding you dear,
Now you must give up,
And surrender in Love.

But such a surrender, Oh Lord,
I know not how to do,
Such is Your splendour,
How can I possibly come to You?

The blacks and the blues,
Always changing the hues,
Yet this current remains,
Always staying the same.

And so we must jump,
Trusting in Love,
Never giving too much,
But always,
Yes, always,
Too little.

Surrendering tub,
Don’t try to swim,
Just sink,
And live.

"The Last Sunset" by Robert Healey